So I’m a turtle. What’s your point? Being a turtle is the best. We get to swim, lay in the sun, and chill in the shade. You know how some people say a turtles shell is like a house? A house? Really? It’s a freaking mansion in here. I’ve got an HD 3D Blu-ray TV hooked up just above my right leg, a cooler to keep my beer nice and cooled, and a memory foamed mattress that I lay on all day. I’ve just finished the dining room, located next to my hind leg. To top it all off, this shell of mine is tough as stopping a filibuster! Granted, the computer next to my left leg is a little bashed up from me walking around all day, but I’m not complaining. Like I said, being a turtle is the best.
Now don’t start mistaking me for a Tortoise. Sure, we both have scales and hard shells, but don’t think for a moment I am slow as the tortoises you see. We turtles are much faster than our land counterparts the Tortoise. We also don’t have to suck up to you humans to receive a piece of a breadstick or ask you for shelter. We fend for ourselves, avoiding sharks, large squids, and orcas in the ocean, and we have the great privilege of eating jellyfish almost daily. And the best part, we get to enjoy the crepuscular ray that shines from the sunset all the way down to the ocean. I should of taken a picture for you all.
Don’t get me wrong, we turtles and tortoises are not mortal enemies. We love them, they love us. But after hearing humans confusing a tortoise for a turtle, I thought I should explain. Well I know this is an esoteric matter, but I mean how would you like it if I started calling apes, humans? Repulsive right? Long as you get it, that’s fantastic. Oh, look at the time, it’s already five o’clock. The sunset is calling me.
writingsfromtheone 